Planning to visit family for a holiday but being unable to stand up, much less drive anywhere. Having to apologize and feeling guilty but not being able to change it.
Knowing what you want your life to look like, but never having the energy to make it happen. Not truly believing it’s even possible. Hating your existence but feeling stuck.
Feeling like nothing in the world is real and that if you just sleep long enough the nightmare will pass. Being unable to acknowledge reality because it’s too big and painful.
Laying in bed crying for no reason. Loved ones feeling helpless and starting to hate themselves and resent you for not getting better. Days blending together in a blur of darkness.
Sobbing as you hold a pile of pills in your hand, unsure of your decision but unable to bear the pain, the overwhelming torture of existence. The guilt, the self-loathing, the despair, the utter loneliness.
Hiding away from your friends. Your family. Everyone. Feeling numb. Just staring at the ceiling blankly.
So much pain in the world.