I guess that’s how I know I’m really depressed. I have a blog post I want to write for another blog but as soon as I open WordPress, my shoulders slump and I just feel like it’s an insurmountable task. Why bother? Writing is too much effort. It’s not even that I have nothing to say, I just don’t have the energy to say it.
There are things I enjoy doing but right now I’m just too tired. I’m reading a really good book and I had to stop for the day because I just…couldn’t care anymore. I want to go to sleep but I’m almost too tired to actually dedicate myself to doing that.
I’m too tired to care that this post is stilted and ugly. I love words but right now it’s about just doing something. Because right now I guess I CAN do something and if I don’t do it now, I never will. Because the fog will descend and I’ll be left despondent and tired again.
I have hope for my future, and I know this struggle I’m in will pass. But, I’m just too tired to see it all the time. I’m just so exhausted. I long for peace and rest. Maybe someday I’ll have it.